I fell in love HARD with Cali.

Photo taken on my 30th birthday en La Azotea de Doña Elena ❤

It started with a beautiful honeymoon phase, literal love at first sight. I still remember waking up my first day in Cali, going for a walk and immediately being taken aback by the immense feeling of possibility: expansion and warmth and excitement building in my chest at seeing city walls covered with murals of black womxn with Afros…an unexpected yet instantaneous sense of belonging and acceptance as I was repeatedly approached by locals on the street for directions and my signature for local political petitions…

One day turned into two weeks turned into three months, and my love for Cali only grew deeper and deeper as I began connecting with Afrocolombian@s and finding a life rhythm full of salsa classes, hikes up Los Tres Cruces and weekly fútbol games.

This is Nancy. I love her with all of my heart. I met her my first day in Cali, and the way she has loved and welcomed me into the most beautiful of Afrocolombiana spaces has sincerely been life-changing.

My first ninety days in Colombia also showed me the country’s not-so-great qualities. Three months in, with the honeymoon phase very much over and the rose-colored glasses smudged and cracked, I saw and experienced Cali for the fullness of what it is: a country with beauty alongside brokenness. I became intimately familiar with Colombia’s flavor of racism (especially in the salsa clubs) and learned to always wear my backpack on the front of my body because los ladrones are REAL. I learned that cars don’t stop at redlights after certain hours at night because motorcyclists audaciously reach inside of cars to steal phones and wallets, and sadly, armed robberies (even in broad daylight) are a part of everyday life here. 

And yet…I still love this place. I renewed for another 90 day visa, and after nearly 6 months, Cali continues to fill my heart and soul in inarticulable ways.

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Recently, a dear one came and visited me in Cali. The night before they left I asked them what they thought about my beloved city. “I don’t see what’s so special about Cali,” they said a little too quickly, “To me, it’s just like any other city.”

Their response unexpectedly unleashed a whirlwind of self-doubt and second-guessing within my soul:  Is Cali worth loving if it’s like “any other city”? What does it even have to offer? What is so special about Cali that it kept me here for FIVE months???

After 47.8 seconds of internally unraveling, I took a deep breath, and instead of attempting to convince or justify my reasons for loving the city of Cali, I silently nodded at my dear one and thanked them for their honest answer.

That moment taught me something important:

You can’t force someone to feel what you feel. You can’t convince someone of love. 

You can’t convince someone of love. 

Sure, I’d love other people to love Cali as much as I do, but the reasons for why I–Nia Danielle Campinha-Bacote–love Cali, don’t often make sense to others. My reasons for loving Cali aren’t extravagant or spectacular, they are mundane and ordinary. 

I didn’t fall in love with Cali because of sky-rise clubs or iconic salsa shows. I fell in love with the simplicity of waking up and seeing my 6AM gym buddies trying to teach me Colombian slang. I fell in love visiting the local fruit markets and buying 4 pesos worth of jugo fresco de zanahoria y mandarina from the woman with the juicer on the corner of the street where I live. I fell in love with the simplicity of sitting in coffee shops for hours, reading and journaling and walking and wandering around the city eating aborrajados y cholados until signs of the setting sun…I fell in love with una vida sencilla.

Five months of beautiful simplicity in Cali gave me the freedom to rest. Deeply and fully.

This is perhaps my favorite photo. It’s a picture of the block that I live on. There’s just something so beautiful and simple about my neighbors seeing this tree as nature’s clothing line…It makes my heart smile so big.

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I’ve spent the last three decades of my life chasing and pursuing the next Ivy League degree/impressive job/title/etc, and it wasn’t until landing in Cali and being confronted by not having a “set life plan” that I realized how desperately my mind/body/soul craved rest.  Simply waking up and living day by day, moment by moment, with nothing that had to be done or accomplished, was beautifully freeing.

And also…really hard.

Alongside drinking cups of hand-squeezed orange juice and salsa dancing, my five months in Cali also looked like confronting daily restlessness, self-judgment, and anxiety because my body&brain struggled to fathom that life could be worth living if it didn’t center producing/achieving/doing something wildly impressive.

In the world we live in, it is truly a fight to believe that our lives are worthy simply because.

And I think that’s how&why I fell so hard for Cali. Through unconventional and radical rest in the form of journaling and salsa dancing and laughing and becoming friends with Uber drivers and beautiful black womxn, Cali gave me the freedom to dare to believe a Radical Truth: My life is worthy, simply because. Period. No semicolon or dash or comma. Period.

The beautiful city of Cali asked me to dare to believe that I am enough. Simply because I am: Enough.

Cali gave me the rest and freedom necessary to let go of a life fixated on proving my worth, and challenged me to instead investigate and even befriend the discomfort&anxiety that accompanies the reality of not having a set plan, and I am oh so grateful.

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So…What’s Next???

Well, the plan is to return to Colombia. I don’t have the exact date, the tickets have yet to be purchased, but my heart desires return. And in my return to Cali, it’s possible my life might not be as “simple” as this first time around. I might be “doing” more things like teaching yoga more regularly or working on projects with professors and local communities. But the rest Cali has allowed me to experience these past five months has inspired me to vow that when I do “do” things, my actions won’t be born out of a pressure to impress or achieve. No. When I “do” things, I want it to be born out of health and wholeness and holiness and joy and curiosity and hope and love and all the beautiful and simple things. ❤ ❤ ❤

 May my decisions come from the Groundedness and Freedom that stems from Enoughness:

I don’t have to do anything because I am and always will be enough.

I can choose to live into and out of Freedom.

I don’t have to fear.

Because I am enough.

Even when I have no idea the path.

It is all working out exactly as it is supposed to.

Mi Querido Cali, I love you so very much. With courage and in freedom I’m believing: Volveré. I’ll be back. I don’t know what the future holds, and I have no idea what Divine Love has in store for me, but I’m down to trust in Love’s ability to guide more than my ability to perfectly follow. So here’s to saying yes to the unknown so that I may live a life defined by freedom and fullness.

Amen y Asè.